UNTIE THE KNOT: End Child Marriage by Jessica Orika – Eyesoflagos






















How would you feel if
you were robbed of your childhood; waking up one morning only to find a group
of men in your living room negotiating with your father for your hand in
marriage; the man you love and respect trading off his little girl without even
giving you a chance to make that choice yourself? It is no news that child
marriage is a growing trend in the northern part of Nigeria. With each passing
minute, a girl child is robbed of her innocence, the ability to make a choice
for herself and sold off in marriage to a man who is just as old as her father
or even older. She is being condemned to a lifetime of confusion and pain by
her own parents and the lawmakers of the state who are supposed to be her
protectors.


According to United
Nations International Children Education Fund (UNICEF), Africa has the highest
incidence rates of child marriage, with over 70% of girls marrying under the
age of 18, in three nations. Among Nigerian women between the ages of 20 and
24, 76% reported marrying before the age of 18, and 28% reported marrying
before the age of 15. The northern part of Nigeria has one of the highest rates
of early marriage in the world with an estimated 65
% of children sold off in marriage. Child
marriage has been legalized in 12 states in Nigeria and this trend seems to be
on the increase in Nigeria though laws have been made to put an end to its
existence. These forced child marriages are a life changing reality for the
girls who are victimized by this act of inhumanity. They are being forced to
trade their
childhood for a future of
uncertainty, health hazards, isolation and violence; becoming brides and
eventually mothers when they were not even given a chance to be children. They
are denied the right to choose whom and when to marry. Parents who engage in
this practice do this due to traditional obligation, poverty, the
twisted need to protect their innocent
younglings from sexual promiscuity and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs),
religious and social pressures, gender inequality amongst many other reasons,
never taking a pause to evaluate the heavy consequences of their decision. Some
other parents are threatened by the state or people who want their daughter’s
hand in marriage so they yield to the threats in order to save their lives
while a few others who do not yield to the threat are killed before the eyes of
the daughters who are then sold off in marriage like sheep taken to the
slaughter.


The consequences of
this negligence run too long and too deep for the girl child’s health. No girl
child should be allowed to experience this. Some of these consequences include;

HEALTH
RISK:
Once married, these child brides face the intense
pressure to become baby making machines. The older men who they are married to
obviously do not care about the fact that they are just little babies who are
supposed to be under the care of their parents so they go ahead to indulge
their sexually under developed bride in all kinds of sexual practices. These
girls face a high probability rate of contracting sexually transmitted diseases
such as Human Papillomavirus (HPV). Neither physically or emotionally ready to
become a mother, the girls who are initiated into sexual activity while their
bodies are still developing, are vulnerable to pregnancy related injuries and a
range of other long-term health complications. Her pelvis and birth carnal
which are not fully developed causes her to face a higher risk of deaths in
childbirth and her child stand a 50% risk more likely to be under weight, still
born or die within its first weeks of life. The children of these child brides
are at substantially greater risk pf perinatal infant mortality and morbidity. They
tend to have a weaker immune system and face a heightened risk of malnutrition.


 EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL RISK:
This gender based
violence robs the girls of their sense of self-worth and reasoning since they
were not given the opportunity to develop properly before being cast out into
the wild. The forced sexual initiation and early pregnancy have a lasting
effect on the mental health of child brides for years after. It destroys her
perception of intimacy in marriage and start to view sex and marriage as rape
and a curse instead of a gift from God to man. They constantly live in fear of
their husband 
     and eventually resort to various means
of reliving the pain and fear they feel which includes killing their husbands.




DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE:
The large age gap between the child bride and her
spouse increase the power and control of her husband over her and makes her
very vulnerable to domestic violence and nonconsensual sexual intercourse. They
face various kinds of severe and life threatening marital violence with little
or no hope of safety for them and their children.






ILLITERACY
AND POVERTY:
Education is the bedrock of the society.
The girls are robbed of the chance to choose if they want to be educated or not
and condemned to marriage, the rate of illiteracy, ignorant crime that is
inspired by hate and then poverty is on the rise. They focus on the domestic
duties and child bearing and raising duties as required of a wife rather than
the educational duties of a growing child. As a result of this, they cannot
earn a reasonable income and financially provide for themselves in a case where
they become widowed. This vicious cycle is bound to continue with their
children and the ones after them because they have come to accept their
situation and their ignorance may cause them to condemn their children to the
same fate.




ROBBING
THE GIRLS OF THEIR LIFE AND DREAMS:
They lose their
childhood prematurely and without their consent and as such lose the ability to
choose how their lives are fulfilled. They are deprived of the opportunity to
live and grow the right way. The dream of becoming somebody great and
influential is killed and their destiny tainted with this blackness. She
becomes a woman in the eyes of the law when she is still physically,
emotionally and psychologically a child.


Actions are being
taken by world bodies and concerned individuals to end this madness and evident
headway is being made. Several laws have been put in place to reduce the rate
of child marriages, education opportunities are offered to the rescued victims
of child marriage amongst other actions. However, the need for more; an
immediate and continuous action on the part of the female folk and male alike
is very necessary. The fact that a child has started maturing physically as in
the development of breasts and seeing of her monthly period does not make her a
bride. She is still a child and as such must not be violated. She is neither a
bride nor a mother, she is only a child who is being denied a path of her own
and condemned without even given a chance to grow up and make her own choices. If
you think you know pain, you do not know the devastating pain of having your
childhood cut short by the ones who are supposed to be your protectors, all
your hopes and the dreams brought to an abrupt halt in just a second, spending
every waking moment of your life in untold/unspoken pain and ignorance for the
rest of your life. It does not have to be you or your child
before you decide to
take an action. This is a call to action. We need to stand and fight for the
life and right of the girl child. You were once a child; given a chance to grow
and be a bride; the chance to choose a path for your life. These girls are
robbed of this chance and much more. Let’s put an end to this madness. Let’s
say no to girl child marriage. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *