Have you ever been so close to someone
that you start to develop deep feelings for them and you start to assume they
feel the same way only to find out that the feeling was never mutual and the
thing you thought you had going was happening only in your head? Have you been
in a situation where you watch your best friend whom you love so dearly go
through a vicious cycle of failed relationships and you wish they could just
consider dating you at least once? I choose to call that the best friend syndrome; A
situation where close friendship exists between two people of the opposite sex,
one of whom has an unreciprocated feeling for the other. This syndrome begs the question, “Can two people of opposite sex
be best friends with no strings attached”? I strongly believe that no
matter how good our intentions are, close friendships between members of the
opposite sex stand the risk of emotional commitment on the long run which can
become an emotional hazard when one has been condemned to the friendzone. Opposites
attract. It is almost impossible to find an opposite sex friendship that is
purely platonic.
that you start to develop deep feelings for them and you start to assume they
feel the same way only to find out that the feeling was never mutual and the
thing you thought you had going was happening only in your head? Have you been
in a situation where you watch your best friend whom you love so dearly go
through a vicious cycle of failed relationships and you wish they could just
consider dating you at least once? I choose to call that the best friend syndrome; A
situation where close friendship exists between two people of the opposite sex,
one of whom has an unreciprocated feeling for the other. This syndrome begs the question, “Can two people of opposite sex
be best friends with no strings attached”? I strongly believe that no
matter how good our intentions are, close friendships between members of the
opposite sex stand the risk of emotional commitment on the long run which can
become an emotional hazard when one has been condemned to the friendzone. Opposites
attract. It is almost impossible to find an opposite sex friendship that is
purely platonic.
Allow me to define “the friend zone” to
you. The friend zone is the hot zone;
a very lonely place where nothing but unreciprocated feelings and uncertainty
grows. It is that selfish place where commitments are never made but hearts are
broken; the place where you invest so much time and keep making sacrifices for
them hoping that they’d finally stop chasing after others and just pause for a
second to see you and your feelings but you end up disappointed; the only place
where relationships happen in your head but never in reality. There are
countless scenarios of this syndrome which has ruined so many friendships and
shattered hearts. Life in the friendzone never has a happy ending. There is
always an uncertainty; not knowing where you stand with them and the option of
assumption, using their actions to judge their intentions, becomes so tempting
that you unconsciously fall into it. This is a very unhealthy way to live your
life. If you are stuck in this zone, you need to get out immediately. You need
to realize the fact that these people may never see your worth no matter how
hard you try to keep doing more. You cannot put your life on hold waiting
around for them to have a change of heart. You cannot keep letting the way you
feel define how your life goes. You need to take steps and claim your life
back.
you. The friend zone is the hot zone;
a very lonely place where nothing but unreciprocated feelings and uncertainty
grows. It is that selfish place where commitments are never made but hearts are
broken; the place where you invest so much time and keep making sacrifices for
them hoping that they’d finally stop chasing after others and just pause for a
second to see you and your feelings but you end up disappointed; the only place
where relationships happen in your head but never in reality. There are
countless scenarios of this syndrome which has ruined so many friendships and
shattered hearts. Life in the friendzone never has a happy ending. There is
always an uncertainty; not knowing where you stand with them and the option of
assumption, using their actions to judge their intentions, becomes so tempting
that you unconsciously fall into it. This is a very unhealthy way to live your
life. If you are stuck in this zone, you need to get out immediately. You need
to realize the fact that these people may never see your worth no matter how
hard you try to keep doing more. You cannot put your life on hold waiting
around for them to have a change of heart. You cannot keep letting the way you
feel define how your life goes. You need to take steps and claim your life
back.
QUIT
ASSUMING AND START COMMUNICATING: Imagination always appears better than
reality but it will cost you more than you bargain for. Assumption destroys
friendships and individuals. Stop using their actions to feed your emotions.
They may be leading you on. It is your choice to either get carried away, be
led on and keep living a lie that will soon destroy you or to guard your heart.
Ask instead of assuming you know them too well that you start to use their
actions to judge their intentions for you. Communicate clearly. Ask the right
questions. Define your relationship before it’s too late. Unless the purpose of
a relationship is clearly defined, there will always be room for assumption,
uncertainty and a high risk of unreciprocated feelings. It is better to be
rejected before getting too emotionally attached than to be rejected when you
have already invested so much time in the relationship that has been happening
only in your head.
ASSUMING AND START COMMUNICATING: Imagination always appears better than
reality but it will cost you more than you bargain for. Assumption destroys
friendships and individuals. Stop using their actions to feed your emotions.
They may be leading you on. It is your choice to either get carried away, be
led on and keep living a lie that will soon destroy you or to guard your heart.
Ask instead of assuming you know them too well that you start to use their
actions to judge their intentions for you. Communicate clearly. Ask the right
questions. Define your relationship before it’s too late. Unless the purpose of
a relationship is clearly defined, there will always be room for assumption,
uncertainty and a high risk of unreciprocated feelings. It is better to be
rejected before getting too emotionally attached than to be rejected when you
have already invested so much time in the relationship that has been happening
only in your head.
ASK
GOD FOR WISDOM: Sometimes it’s easy to confuse lust for love; Not knowing
if what you feel can stand the test of time. Confirm your feelings. Ask God for
wisdom. It’s okay to define your relationship but make sure you are not
defining them on the wrong basis. They may be leading you on. Ask God for
wisdom and not your friends. Friends can be very misleading. God can never
mislead you. When you ask, be patient enough to listen and be sure it’s him and
not your emotions that you are paying heed to. A blender cannot be used
properly without its manual. You are God’s masterpiece. Never forget that. Look
to the Word. Your answer lies therein.
GOD FOR WISDOM: Sometimes it’s easy to confuse lust for love; Not knowing
if what you feel can stand the test of time. Confirm your feelings. Ask God for
wisdom. It’s okay to define your relationship but make sure you are not
defining them on the wrong basis. They may be leading you on. Ask God for
wisdom and not your friends. Friends can be very misleading. God can never
mislead you. When you ask, be patient enough to listen and be sure it’s him and
not your emotions that you are paying heed to. A blender cannot be used
properly without its manual. You are God’s masterpiece. Never forget that. Look
to the Word. Your answer lies therein.
GUARD
YOUR HEART:
Your heart is the center of your being. People who are down emotionally do not
function effectively physically. Know your identity and hold to it. You are an
original and not a substitute. Stop sitting on the sidelines waiting for them
to finally see you. Get up and get moving. It is going to be very hard and
painful to move on but you need to do so soon before it is too late. Do not
follow the crowd and their “keep hope alive” or “make your way to their heart”
friendzone advice. Trendy is not always healthy. Your emotional health is
important.
YOUR HEART:
Your heart is the center of your being. People who are down emotionally do not
function effectively physically. Know your identity and hold to it. You are an
original and not a substitute. Stop sitting on the sidelines waiting for them
to finally see you. Get up and get moving. It is going to be very hard and
painful to move on but you need to do so soon before it is too late. Do not
follow the crowd and their “keep hope alive” or “make your way to their heart”
friendzone advice. Trendy is not always healthy. Your emotional health is
important.
It is never too late to take a step
back and reevaluate your relationship with them. Don’t put yourself on their
option list. You are not an option. You are a unique masterpiece. I’d leave you
with this; “when a sales person keeps trying to persuade you to buy a product
at a cost that is way cheaper than its original cost price, that product, no
matter how beautiful loses its value in your eyes”. That
is the same way you lose your worth in their eyes each time you keep making
yourself their “standby” or “available choice”. Making yourself more available
won’t make them value you anymore than they do now. Know your identity. You are
worth the chase. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Life in the
friendzone never has a happy ending. Choose to get out today.
back and reevaluate your relationship with them. Don’t put yourself on their
option list. You are not an option. You are a unique masterpiece. I’d leave you
with this; “when a sales person keeps trying to persuade you to buy a product
at a cost that is way cheaper than its original cost price, that product, no
matter how beautiful loses its value in your eyes”. That
is the same way you lose your worth in their eyes each time you keep making
yourself their “standby” or “available choice”. Making yourself more available
won’t make them value you anymore than they do now. Know your identity. You are
worth the chase. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Life in the
friendzone never has a happy ending. Choose to get out today.
