An Eyes Of Lagos user has decided to share her experience in her marriage life

An Eyes Of Lagos user has decided to share her experience in her marriage life . She has asked for our advice

My name is blessing(alias), I am from a very serious Christian home. My dad is a pastor of a small pentecostal church. As expected, I was strictly raised by my parents to attended and participated in all church service. I was not allowed to go to friends house or anywhere for that matter other than church. I was 18years when I got admission to the university. Life over there was so different from the one I was used to but I was determined to stick to the way I was raised. I still went to church and participated in all church activities.
I had a triangle lifestyle in school; from hostel to class then to the library/church and so on. I had very good grades because all I did was read. This was my lifestyle for about three (3) years in school. When I got to level four (4) my final year in school, I started a Holy relationship with a church brother. He was also committed to church and his education. He had all the criteria I was looking for in a husband; he was God fearing, caring, committed and focused. It is very difficult to find young men like him I loved him and was determined to marry him. There was however one problem; he is short tempered. I noticed this the first time we went on a date. He took me out to an eatery, we placed our order but the waitress was late to deliver our order. When she finally came, he was so furious and shouted at her. After the heat was over, he apologized to me. His excuse was that he hated people wasting his time and he was concerned about me because I had not eaten. The other time, he almost got physical with a bus driver and countless times he had been unable to control His temper. When ever we talk about this, he says… “I am sorry I will change. I can never get angry at you, I love you so much.” I knew he loved me or so I thought…….


We both finished and by God’s grace we secured good jobs. Three years after my university degree, we got married. About a year after our marriage, I started noticing strange behaviors he started coming home very late and when ever I try to ask why he gives me excuses or shouts at me. He will however always apologize to me for behaving harsh. We went on like that and I endured. It was during this period we had our first child. After our first child, his attitude became worse. He complains about everything my food, my performance on bed, my job etc. All of a sudden, everything was on his terms. I decided to talk to him about his behavior towards me, he said he was not interested in listening to what I had to say but I insisted. The next memory I had was my self on the ground. My ears at that moment wasn’t working and the only thing I could see was his mouth moving in anger. My husband had slapped me for the first time. With fear I stood up trying to leave the room but he grabbed me before I could run out, shoved me on the bed gripping, shaking and slapping me several times. I woke up the next morning very sore with bruises all over me. This was the first time but not the last. Several assault followed. Some times I will have to stay home for a week to allow the bruises clear and of cause this affects my job because I keep calling in sick. I don’t know who to talk to or what to do. I have been a good girl all my life I am a good wife, a good mother, I love my husband and I do any thing to please him but I can’t keep getting abused and assaulted over ever little thing. My religion, my position and my family’s reputation in church would not allow me voice out my problem. I can’t report my husband to the authorities because then, people will know and it will bring shame. I told my pastor about this, but he strongly advice against divorce he said I should keep praying and enduring. I know I am not the only one going through this or has gone through this in the past. Please I need your advice I am tired, weak and broken. This has affected me in every area of my life. I don’t want to raise my child this way.