How Can a Married Woman’s Children Belong to Her Ex? – Lawyer Sparks Debate

A Nigerian lawyer has stirred intense discussion on social media after questioning why some married people remain emotionally attached to their ex-partners, even to the extent of raising children for them while in another marriage.  Eyes Of Lagos reports,

The lawyer, Dammy Esquire, shared his thoughts on X (formerly Twitter), highlighting the troubling choices he has seen in his years of observing divorces and failed marriages.

According to him:

“I have seen too many marriages collapse because people married who their parents or society chose, instead of who they truly wanted. If you’re married but still secretly think about your ex, let me ask you: why didn’t you marry them in the first place? Or are you just waiting for your current marriage to crash so you can run back? But here’s the real madness, how do you have 3 kids in your husband’s house, and all 3 belong to your ex? Who are you really married to — your husband or your past?”

His statement quickly went viral, with many Nigerians weighing in on the realities of marriage and emotional fidelity.

One user, Samuel Dominic, backed the lawyer’s claims, writing:

“Too many people are legally married but emotionally unavailable, tied to one person yet still living in the shadow of someone else. Marriage isn’t a hiding place from unfinished stories; it’s a conscious decision to choose and re-choose the person beside you every day.”

Dammy later followed up with another post to clarify his stance, stressing that marriage should be rooted in loyalty and intentional love:

“Marriage isn’t about wearing a ring, it’s about showing up daily with loyalty, presence, and intentional love.”

The debate has left many Nigerians reflecting on their own unions: Is marriage truly about societal pressure, parental approval, or about choosing someone you genuinely love?

And perhaps the biggest question—how many couples today are truly committed to their current partner, rather than still holding on to the ghost of a past relationship?