Moving to Lagos sounds like an adventure — the music, the money, the movement. But for many recent arrivals, the harsh reality sets in fast: it’s lonely out here.

Lagos is a city of 20+ million people, yet many who move here for work, school, or hustle say the same thing: “I’ve never felt more isolated.” Eyes Of Lagos reports,

Why is making friends in Lagos so hard?

1. The Hustle Culture Leaves Little Room for Bonding

Everyone in Lagos is in a rush — to work, to survive, to blow. The city thrives on productivity, not small talk. From Ojota to Lekki, the mantra is “get yours,” and that often leaves social connections behind.

“I moved from Port Harcourt for a tech job, and after 8 months, I don’t know my neighbours,” says Uche, a 26-year-old developer living in Yaba.

People work long hours, battle traffic that feels like a full-time job, and by the time they get home, all they want is sleep — not socializing.

2. Everyone Already Has Their Clique

In Lagos, social circles are tight and often childhood-based. Many grew up together, attended the same secondary schools, universities, or churches. Breaking into these groups can feel like trying to enter a private club with no membership form.

“The Lagos people I meet already have their ‘squad,’ and they’re not actively looking to add more friends,” says Maryam, a content creator who moved from Ilorin.

3. The Fear of Fakery and Scams

Let’s be honest — Lagos has a reputation. From dating scams to “Ponzi plug” friendships, many are wary of strangers. People here are cautious. That makes building genuine friendships take longer.

Trust is currency in Lagos, and most people don’t give it out easily — especially not to newcomers with no shared history.

So, What Can You Do?

• Attend interest-based events:

Whether it’s open mic nights in Surulere, tech meetups in Yaba, or art exhibitions in Victoria Island, shared passions spark real connections.

• Join online communities:

Telegram groups, Twitter circles, and Lagos-based forums are underrated friendship factories. Apps like Meetup or Eventbrite can also help.

• Volunteer:

Joining NGOs or community cleanups gives you access to people who care about causes — and about connection.

• Be consistent & intentional:

Friendships take time. Keep showing up, be open, and don’t force it.

The Hidden Upside

While Lagos may seem cold at first, once you find your people, the city feels warmer. The key is patience, presence, and participation. It’s not you — it’s Lagos. But with time, it can be home.

Call to Action:
Are you a recent mover to Lagos feeling isolated? Share your experience or tips for building connections in the comments or tag us @eyesoflagos on Instagram.